Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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