u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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