p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
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I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I am available for nakedness
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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