Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
