put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
