That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
