i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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