This girl is more easily done than said...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
