who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i think i just lost a toe
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
