Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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