NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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