oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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