I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
