You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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