Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
