u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
