What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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