brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
