I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
