Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
