My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You can't special order awesome
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
