I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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