After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
