I met the friendliest cop last night
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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