you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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