I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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