The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
