her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
