I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Less talking, more tequila
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
