How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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