So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
