Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
