I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This is classic penis vs brain.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
