He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
