My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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