I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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