My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
