found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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