wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
