I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
