Moan for me like Helen Keller
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
