im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
