I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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