he wants to bone in the snuggie
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
