My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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