I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think people are normalizing furries
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize