I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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