You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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