Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
