erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
