Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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