You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
