I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
