We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
