Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
