you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize