my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
