When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
