She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
