Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
