Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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