Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
