For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
