I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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