wrigley field is MILF paradise
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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